“Dude I don’t know what the fuck happened. I was robbing some bitch and the next thing I know I’m being choked out by a fcker that can’t use his legs…..”
The guy with the yellow sign
Guy in the wheelchair deserves all the awards.
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
why is pollination not called floral sex
δεινός (deinos): great, terrible (in regard to size)
σαῦρος (sauros): lizardThe first definition of δεινός I learned was “fierce,” so I always thing of dinosaurs as “fierce lizards.”
(I also always imagine Tyra Banks saying “fierce lizards!”)
Ironic and Unfortunate Shirts Worn in Mugshots [via]
once i was at a party and they asked me what my dad did for a living and said that he died when i was 12 and of course i hear the collective “aaawww im so sorry”
and then i hear some girl whisper from the back “you’re halfway to becoming batman”
AND THAT IS HOW I MET ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS MORAL OF THE STORY IS IF YOU USE BLACK HUMOUR I WILL LOVE YOU
(Banana + blueberries + honey + maple syrup + almonds + powdered sugar) / (old sourdough + almond milk + egg + vanilla) = French Toast!
Aluna the dik dik is only 8 inches tall.
She didn’t bond with her mother, so she’s being raised by hand by the luckiest zookeeper ever at the Chester Zoo.
OHHHHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown AND NOW HE’S LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND
*goat screams*
i used to think i was unphotogenic then i found out i was just ugly
Hi, I’m a Jehovah’s Witness wondering if you’d be interested in a gym membership over at Jehovah’s Fitness
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[via]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/67074551303ada8afb832c35b30ae1fd/tumblr_mnzisyh2i01qewacoo1_r2_500.png)
